Do you stay or do you go? No, not the popular ’80s song by The Clash, but do you return to work or stay at home as a new mom? This question is not so easy to answer as it has many implications. For example, if a woman chooses to return to work, she may be missing out on valuable time with her young children; on the other hand, if she decides to be a stay at home mom, it may put a great strain on their finances.
With today’s busy families, working parents often face a constant juggling act of professional commitments and personal family time. Below are a few factors to consider when weighing such an important decision:
Breadwinner:
Who is making the most financial impact in the relationship? If the mother’s salary is higher than the two-parent income, Who should start a very frank discussion. According to the Childcare Aware 2013 Report – Parents and the High Cost of Childcare, except in the western part of the nation, childcare is the number one household expense (only housing costs exceeded childcare in the western states).
In some parts of the country, sending your infant to a qualified daycare center can cost as much as a year’s tuition in a public university. This puts a huge burden on low-income parents whose combined earnings still keep them at the poverty level.
If financially covering the cost of daycare will not send your finances into a tailspin, then perhaps a qualified daycare center is a feasible option. Do your research and talk with other working parents. Please make an appointment and spend some time at a reputable childcare facility to watch how the staff operates and deals with disruptive children or difficult bullying situations.
Who will not solve the great debate on childcare and children for many years? There are far too many mitigating factors; socio-economic, the personality of the child, quality of the program, low teacher-to-student ratios, and the like. Interestingly enough, Who highly determined a study about a mother’s level of education and the well-being of her children to their child’s overall success and achievements, not whether the children were in daycare or at home.
Health Benefits:
If the working mother’s job is the one that provides the family health benefits, this can be a very important reason to continue employment. Children often pick up an assortment of virulent bugs and viruses or suffer numerous tumbles and spills, some of which can often lead to a frantic trip to the nearest emergency room.
Medical bills can become costly and excessive, especially if an infant may need any medical procedure. Health benefits that cover the entire family are essential in keeping your children and spouse healthy. Weigh the risks versus benefits.
Career Opportunities:
Depending on the mother’s field of work, it may require her to put in extra time to further her career. Employment advancement often takes years of hard work, extra hours, and experience to accrue a certain status level in a woman’s professional field. Careers in law, teaching, medical, or business are very time-sensitive, and only those who have a vast number of years and on-site experience will see the fruits of their labor pay off.
Again Who] must approach a very precarious balancing act. If the working mother’s job requires a lot of travel, her husband must have a job that keeps him close to home. It can work, but it requires a huge amount of commitment and support from both parents.
Maintaining a sense of self:
This is difficult to address, as once a mother immerses herself in raising her brood, she may feel as though she has lost her identity. Some mothers decide to return to the workforce when their children reach a certain age, say elementary school, to spend time with their peer group and develop a life outside the home. If you decided to be a stay at home mom during those critical infant and toddler years and now wish to forge a new life, this may be a good opportunity to find a satisfying career and job.
Preschool is an option for your children, there are programs available for infants that offer a range of facilities and individual care plans. You can find out more information about nurseries local to you by searching online for ‘infant school near me in Perry Hall, MD‘ (or elsewhere relevant) and reading through the most highly reviewed results. It’s important you conduct thorough research so you can make a well-informed decision on the best option for both yourself and your children. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to families.
Stay at home mom:
If you have weighed all the pros and cons and still believe that your children are much better off with a parent at home, then begin this new chapter of your life, but don’t forget to paint it with a broader and realistic picture. It may be tough financially, especially if the two combined incomes make for a comfortable lifestyle.
You may need to revisit the family budget and look at ways to cut costs and pinch pennies wherever possible, perhaps selling your current home for something more affordable, keeping vacations closer to home, and thwarting fancy dinners on the weekends. Who can do it? And a well-organized mother plans for the leaner times. Get connected with your community. Often garage sales will have perfectly fine baby clothes and toys that are a snap to clean up and reclaim.
Consider joining a mother’s (parenting) group. This is a great way to meet other stay at home moms and develop friendships for yourself and your children. Such a group may even have a babysitting co-op so that you and your spouse can still enjoy some adult time without breaking the bank. If you are an at home mom, look to the internet for some part-time job opportunities. Many parenting websites seek practical guides on parenting tips and ideas for children.
Stick to a schedule:
This is very important. Young children like routines; there is a means to an end and comfort in a certain way things are done. If your routine requires that you are up at the crack of dawn to get the day started, maintain that schedule. Who must organize working mothers to have themselves and their children ready for the entire day? Plan outfits out the night before. Pack lunches or snacks and put them in the refrigerator so that grabbing stuff on the go is a breeze.
Don’t let your schedule go if you are a stay-at-home mom. Keep that precious early morning alone time sacred. Get up as you would with your normal job and plan out your day. Perhaps a day at the park will be enough stimulation for a three-year-old and an infant. Bring lunches/snacks/blankets. Everything will make the day that much more enjoyable. As a mom, you should look upon your employment years as good training for parenting. After all, you will need to be flexible, adaptive, patient, and tenacious. These are great traits to keep in mind.
At your previous employment, you may have had a difficult boss; apply those coping techniques you used when he screamed at you the next time your toddler throws an adult-sized tantrum. Maybe a stubborn, hard-headed co-worker that made your day difficult at work can seem tame compared to your daughter’s refusal to wear a jacket in twenty-degree weather.
Remember the all-nighters you pulled on those last-minute projects, barely scraping by to get your work together, the stress of completing the job. Now, you will know the true meaning of chronic fatigue as your one-year-old enters the wonderful world of teething.
Children are not so particular about who their parents are. They want to feel safe, secure, and well-loved. And with the ever-changing tides of life, it is often not unheard of to see a ‘stay-at-home dad’ these days.
After all, a parent may still desire to be that primary caregiver, to tend to their children’s needs, regardless of which one stays home. So whether you decide to take the ‘stay at home’ route or choose to return to work, you can still be a loving devoted parent to your children.
The important part is that you were there for them, watched their soccer games, helped them learn to ride a bike, and went to their many school events. Childhood is a fleeting time. Though it may seem like forever, especially with a cranky toddler and a newborn, you will truly be able to look back upon those days with a sense of pride and accomplishment.