Recently one of my best friends got married, and by many standards, it was quite lovely. It didn’t feature bad food, drunk relatives and (for the most part) god-awful music that makes you wish for the invention of invisible headphones. Still, despite the wonderful view of the venue, it was a wedding, and it featured enough uncomfortable, annoying and boring moments that inspired this article.
I should state at this point that I’m a girl, and I’m pretty romantic. I believe in happy endings and root for romance movie couples to not just find each other, but to actually live together happily (you know, as opposed to tragic love stories). I’m also a bit of a shopaholic, so I don’t mind the occasional excuse to look my most gorgeous self. So my aversion to weddings surprises a lot of people.
But let’s face it: at the end of the day, a wedding is one big party, and it’s damn hard to throw a thoroughly fun one when your guests come from so many different backgrounds (and generations).
So below are irritating elements of weddings:
1. The music
Most weddings insist on playing songs that people could (and probably do) use as torture devices. It’s worse if the taste of the bride and groom radically differs from yours. But even if these are the people you can go to concerts with, they end up picking songs that would entertain the majority, including parents and elderly relatives. Even the most tolerable wedding playlists I’ve encountered included at least 45 minutes of horrible tracks.
2. The volume
High volume isn’t an issue if you like the tune. But a barely bearable song can push your patience when played too loudly, taking away your ability to ignore it.
3. The expectancy to dance
Even if you have a very Zen approach toward music you can’t stand and don’t mind being exposed to big chunks of it during parties, you probably don’t appreciate having to dance to them.
But at weddings, especially if you are close to either the bride or groom, you’ll be strongly “encouraged” to join other dancers. If you are not skilled at saying no without upsetting people, good luck.
4. The guests
If you don’t have many mutual friends, you might end up at a table full of strangers. Here, depending on your luck, the loud music might be your savior from the unwanted dialogue. On the other hand, it might prevent you from connecting because you can’t hear each other.
5. The smoking
Smokers often treat non-smokers like unreasonable brats when they complain in the open air, but let’s face it, despite the strength or the direction of the wind, a lot of smoke will eventually find its way to your lungs when the smokers are sitting right next to you.
6. The weather
Too much heat or cold can obviously lessen the fun, but rain isn’t always a mood-enhancer either. A little summer rain won’t hurt, but when it’s pouring down so heavily that waiters have to empty the water from the canopy, you are in trouble.
7. The lack of cute singles
The hilarious movie Wedding Crashers portrays weddings as heaven for single men trying to score one night stands with desperate bridesmaids. Unfortunately, most guests come with their plus ones.
Not to mention, not all weddings serve alcohol (mainly to cut expenses or to satisfy the more religious invitees), so without the booze and cute single people… You get the idea.
8. The transportation& schedule
It’s great if you have the time and place to relax and change, but when you have only a few hours between the ceremony and party, finding a place to hang out can be quite the hassle. This last wedding had me and two friends traveling around with large bags, changing at a Starbucks and switching to dress shoes in the cab. Add the traffic and unstable weather, and the level of comfort plummets.
9. Jokes about how your wedding will have all the same bad bits
The moment you start complaining, a couple of people might claim that your own wedding will feature the exact same things you are whining about. Well, I challenge them right back.
Trust me, if I ever get married, at least the music will rock, and my friends won’t have to wear gowns and suits (they can if they want to). They will also be able to sit down during the whole thing if they like.
10. The expenses.
When it’s one of your dearest friends getting married, you do get over all of these items on this list, including how much the gift and other costs set you back. But it’s never just two or three good friends getting married, is it? Especially after entering a certain age interval, the frequency of wedding invitations will make your head spin. What can you do?
Well, you can always benefit from an extra savings/expenses account for unexpected surprises, avoid some of the weddings if you can get away with it and …… Well, that’s about it really.
So there…Not all women (or romantics) have a hoot attending weddings. Some even dread it. How do you feel about weddings, really?
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