Fear of commitment is plaguing current relationships. Civilization has long perpetuated “true love” as the only basis for a lasting relationship. Everybody understands how difficult this can get to implement. It isn’t easy to be satisfied and happy with oneself. To find perfect happiness, spiritual accord, and satisfaction in one’s relationship are even more difficult.
This is the main reason people fear lasting commitments. In others, this fear becomes a complete phobia. Help from a fear of commitment psychology is what they need; otherwise, once their relationships progress past a certain level of intimacy, they will always panic with an emotionally disastrous outcome.
One of the major reasons frustrated people seek a dating expert is that it helps them overcome the fear of commitment.
So, how do you overcome your commitment fear? You have to face your fears head-on. If you’re fighting the fear of commitment phobia, you will discover that one of the most common fears men and women have about commitment.
If you’re in a relationship with a person struggling to decide whether or not to move on, you can show them that you care about them by helping them discover and confront their fears. Some of these fears are obvious, but others are subtle.
Being scared of the unknown
New demands and experiences can be very stressful. You never know just what is expected, and you get anxious about this. You’re more contented to stick with the status quo than opt for an uncertain future. This fear is mainly seen in people who have little or lack self-confidence, and such fear can increase when a lot of demands are made.
Fear of making mistakes
When you do not want to decide is a decision itself and a mistake! This is a common kind of fear among people who have a lot of choices they can choose from, and the more choices you have, the greater the fear. Having more choices makes you fear that you will regret making the decision later on, and thus you end up delaying the process hoping that you will not fail or make a mistake.
Fear of losing a loved one
Everybody relies on the support of friends and family. You are so scared of losing people who do not support your decisions, such as your friends, family, and even children from earlier marriages because you need approval from others. This type of fear is not just about the inability to handle their rejection and anger, but fear that when everything goes wrong – and have them say, “I warned you.”
Fear of losing control
Everybody wants to feel in control and able to make choices. Part of the control is in controlling when and how a relationship will happen. What normally happens is that all is moving on well, but you back off when you feel that you’re losing control.
Why do men fear commitment?
Many experiences make us develop hatred for long-lasting relationships. Perhaps your beloved parents had a divorce while you were very young. As you heard them fight, maybe you compared their relationships with what you watched in movies. Movies, particularly action movies, only depict the process where the leading character falls in love and begins to have a relationship with a passive female.
They then show the splendid beginnings of the relationship. The only experience children have heard about a romantic relationship is with their parents. Therefore, when parents go through a showy divorce, fear commitment after divorce, or stay together just for the children’s sake but hate each other, it is easy for the kids to generalize such dysfunctional relationships into long-term relationships.
Other reasons
Other reasons for fear of commitment between women and men are the negative experiences of their earlier relationships. Perhaps your first boyfriend was what you perceived as dependent and clingy, making your relationship very stressful rather than one full of happiness.
Men’s fear of commitment may come due to the fear of being responsible while living with those they care for. They detest the thought of being obligated to someone for their lives. To better understand why men fear commitment, we try to find information to assist us in remaining hopeful.
Much of the information available on fear of commitment in men is always discouraging, and there is even this use of fear of commitment quotes and “catch-all” phrases like fear of commitment phobia, emotionally engaged, men and women who cannot love, that do not explain anything in detail.
What’s even more disturbing is that many people use different phrases, particularly “fear of commitment” and “fear of commitment phobia name,” as excuses to avoid commitments. Fear of commitment is mostly not well comprehended, even by those with signs of fear of commitment!
One part of them desires commitment and love, while the other part fears what they want so much. And precisely since they desire commitment and love so much, they tend to be very caring and loving, hence treating their partners with so much kindness and attentiveness to their partner’s wants. They are also unlikely to have outside affairs or cheat on their partners due to their respect for commitment.
On the other hand, there are some cases where someone would fear committing to you since they feel “something is missing” in the relationship or about their feelings for you. The person with such fear of commitment signs takes off as everything about how they feel right, which scares them a lot. These people long to get into a loving, committed relationship, but they dread being drawn in. This fear often reaches a level of phobia.
So, if you truly love your partner and wish to have a committed relationship, you must first find out what makes your partner scared about commitment. Overcoming the fear of commitment is possible since one requires a different approach to dealing with it and a different approach to encouraging your partner or yourself to be committed.
Certainly, if you have had a bad experience, you get influenced by it and perhaps expect history to repeat itself. Take a fear of commitment quiz and notice what you are silently saying to yourself. Find out what underlying beliefs you have about the fear. Write them down on a piece of paper and challenge them as if you were in a debate.
After that, go back to when you last experienced any of the above fears and did not cope well, making you doubt yourself. Ask yourself about the worst thing that may happen, and then challenge your beliefs as if you were in a debate. You will be very surprised about how simple that is. You will be able to open up your mind to a different viewpoint.
Keep in mind that love grows when you give it without limit. When you share true love, you will not be afraid to completely love each other with trust, fairness, honesty, and commitment.
